Area! Area!! Areeeeaaaaaaa!!! I hail o! I created this thread for anyone who is visiting Warri, especially, for the first time. In order for you not to be caught unaware, you need to get to know some facts about Warri which might seem funny but true! Also know that this town is not the capital of Delta State but it is more popular than the capital, Asaba!!! Here we go:
1) Warri people love fight more than quarrel grin. When you are in the Oil City, stir clear from trouble because you might quickly get up to 10 years beaten out of your life grin. A Warfi guy fit slap you even before completing the statement 'I go slap you o!' grin.
2) Don't ever take a 'regular' Warri babe to an eatery on a date!!! Instead, take her to a beer parlor. Before she consumes 2 bottles of beer, she must have gotten high (for babes that take alchohol). If she is not the alcoholic type, say the one that takes maltina, if she consumes more than 2 bottles or cans, na jedi jedi she dey find cheesy. Ignore this advice at your risk! If you take a warfi babe to an eatery, be sure that she would want to taste everything that the eatery has on their menu! If you meet the kpako babes, na one chance be dat grin. Na wickedness warfi girls dey use wack person money finnish for eatery o! grin
3) If you meet a babe for the first time, try as much as possible to know where she stays before you go to her area to look for her in order not to get 'obtained' (robbed) by bad guys. This is only applicable to the kpako ones shacheesy. Do not go to the following areas if you nor strong like Hankook or Vuga: Alaka, JJC, Ekpan, Orumaro and Jakpa Junction grin.
4) Unlike Lagos where people scramble to enter commercial buses, Warri is very different. Don't hurry; take your time cheesy. When you stop a bus or keke, just stand where you are, the bus or keke will reverse and park in front of you if the distance between you and the bus or keke is much grin.
5) If you must steal in Warri, make sure you are never caught because if deh catch you ehn, na tyre with fuel go end am! Even if there's no tyre available, a motorist nearby would definitely and gladly volunteer his spare tyre grin
6) Warri guys are very sharp! Don't take them for fools or else you'd end up being the fool and feeling sorry for yourself cheesy.
7) When you are in Warri, you need to be very attentive when people are talking or else you'd end up not understanding a single statement because most Wafarians speak in a rapid way and they hardly pronounce their words completely; 'brother' is 'bra' and 'make I go' is 'maa go' grin
8. Look or listen very well before you run
When at a crime scene or whenever you hear the chanting of Oleh! Oleh!! (meaning thief! Thief!!), my guy, nor carry run oo
First thing, make sure you know what`s on ground or know what`s happening before you take off like Usain Bolt. But if you do (that`s if you run any how without being aware of the gbeghe on ground) . . . My guy, I`m overly sure that you won`t live to tell what transpired another day.
Story : There was a story of a man who had a serious brawl with his wife, after which the man annoyingly went out from the house and then the foolish wife started calling her husband, on top of her voice. . . thief! Thief! Without stopping. . . You know Naija women with their bad mouth na! Haba!
The mumu man, just rush to enter bike. . .
My people, na so angry men wey dey para, emerge from nowhere come begin finish guy man with beating (in mortal kombat it`s known as Brutality!) - clubbing, blows, uppercuts and planking coming from all direction. They almost won initiate tire burning style, not until the police arrived at the scene to stop the gbeghe!
My friend, when in Naija, especially in WARRI, look before you leap!
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